Besieged....Entangled...

nuthing is workin out.....im just too bored, depressed, desparate, pata nahi kiya kiya...mera na kisi say baat kernay ko dil kerta hayy na kuch perhnay ko....na khanay peenay....im compltely acting opposite to wat the real areej is....man....i have always been quite social....no doubt i wont ever share my stuff with anyone....not even with my closest friends....per ub tu kisi say baat kernay ko b dil nahi kerta.....everybody thinks as if im angry at em or sum say i have turned proud....per both the points r completely wrong as far as i can think of myself....


amber is depressed.....she calls me daily....per aj i sensed how depressed she actually is....i wud always tease her and have fun....she wud always laff at my stupidities.....aj she wasnt the same.....she called me and the first thing she said was "r u free?? mujhe tum say bohat sari batain kerni hain"....i cudnt trust my ears for a sec k amber itni formal/changed watever.....and i was scared for a moment....and the other moment as i said "haan bilkul farig".....that moment she errupted into tears.....i didnt know nothing.....i knew she needed a shoulder per yahan itni durr say mujhe say baat b nahi ho rahi thi....upper say signal prob....i stood there totally lost k hua kiya hay....and then she started tellin me of the big trouble that had occurred at her place.....i dunno wat fate has got for all of us...who cud say k aj say aik saal pehlay tuk husti hui amber wud have to change this way for a guy she hardly likes! .....its not fair....no doubt Allah knows the best....and we cant ever argue with Him...neither do we want to...still everyone needs sum refuge....everyone needs to have sum hope......


im just too full rite now....i myself dunno wat i want to do....which path shud i go for....im just soo damn confused....