*shitofied*

man y does it always happen with me??? yar it was my babas birthday and like always once again i forgot to wish him.....on my birthday its always my family to wish me at exact 12 midnight but i always forget....this is simply sooo bad...


i was out with my friends aur aisa shugal tha k i just forgot everything....and now only i know how much guilty i am....shit yar....i had planned k iss dafa i wud b the first one to wish him but nahi.....how cud i be so careless....shit man shit...im just so angry at my own self...i dunno wat to do....its like 2.15 rite now and i cant call him at this part of night.....and im sure he wud have gone to sleep after expecting my call/sms for long....yar....parents do so muhc for their kids....esp my parents have done so much for me....how cud i do this to him....


i dun even know how wud i compensate...

Dire Strait...

i really wanna cum out of this dire strait now...


its my agony and i juz want to get rid of it...sumtimes i think k i shud share all my stuff with my friends....i have got so many f gud friends around me and they all can be trusted like anything....per pata nahi kion mujhe say kisi ko kuch nahi bataya jata....i wud keep burnin myself....man....i just want relief...


i dunno if i luv my family or not....but this is for sure that my family luvs me soooo very much....i have always wanted to pay them back but i know im just too bad....i cant do anything for them....


im juz so helpless/aimless/lifeless.....

emotionalised-saddised-traumatised

man....im havin the worst emotions ever...i feel literally very down...i want to cry...tears r almost there....all they might b needin is a slight push....im havin sumthing in my heart i cant figure out myself...


i have these loads of tensions inside my head....i dunno how to cum out of all this...im missin sid a lot today....i want her to be here....zains state makes me miss her even more....im missin dumber as well....the thought of ot bein able to contact her from tonight makes me sad....and then wat the main prob is.....i wanted a lot to sit with huma and talk to her.....and shes not here....


i went to the childrens hospital today....found this very cute boy....firdaus ali...he was sooo damn cute that i cudnt hold my sight off him....i went straight to his father and asked him if i cud take him....the boy immediately climbed into my arms....i talked to him, played with him for like 30 min....and he got so familiar with me that he wont go back to his family....that was the best feelin ne cud have....his father needed financial support coz the boy has cancer....Allah....


ok...im going to the hospital tomorow once again....and im goin to fsd as well....i think main kuch hi ursay main fsd transfer kerwa lun gi upnay credit hours....i want to b there....actually i want to be with him...